As we say goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012, like most people, I take a bit of time to look back and reflect. I look at 2011 and a big part of me is incredibly happy to see it go. It brought so many challenges, sadness, stress and grief my way. The loss of two Grandparents and a dear friend all within three months of each other. The health scare we had with Kylee, the incredible amount of money necessarily spent on health and dental care during the year. The large part of October, November and December spent without Brian. The hope that positive change was coming, when in reality, the only change that took place was that of adjusting to loss. 2011 looked like a pretty horrible, grim year. Truth be told - there have been plenty of moments where I just wanted to retreat into a hole and hide there, not wanting to face the reality of it all. At the same time, there were plenty of moments that I was able to look and realize how truly blessed I am.
Throughout the Christmas season, I sat in the front seat of my Jeep listening to Brad Paisley's Christmas CD (of course there were only 2 or 3 songs that we listened to, as those were the kids' favorites). The song, Born on Christmas Day was one of those - a song about Christ's birth. I have never smiled so big in my life as I did while driving to and from places listening to my 5 and 2 1/2 year old belt out word for word that song.
Although we lost two wonderful people in our family, and we are very sad about that, I realized what an incredible life I was able to have because of them. I realize how many unbelievable memories I have, not just of them - but the memories I made with them. I have a new sense of how important family is to me and how precious that time is with each of them and look forward to making many more memories with them during 2012.
Brian and I ended up going through a lot of personal stress at the same time this year; mine with the loss of grandparents and friends and his with extreme hours in the office and literally a loss of 3-4 months of time with his kids. One would think this would have driven us further a part because he was never around when I needed someone, and I didn't always have the energy to maintain the house or have things as they usually are after a long day. But, instead we grew so much closer to each other. We started working more as one instead of as two individuals. We supported each other as best as we could and pushed each other through the tough times. If there is one thing I am so grateful for from 2011 (besides my daughter's clean bill of health) it would be this moment when we came together to help each other move through a very challenging and difficult time.
Now on to 2012 - and a new hope that POSITIVE change will come our way. Our family has a lot of potential life changes coming. Everything from moving out of Greeley into either Severence or Fort Collins and looking for a good school for Kylee to start Kindergarten and Triston to start Preschool. Potential opportunity for Brian to not only find new employment, but an entirely different structure of employment and hopefully a change of employment for me after the tax season is done. We're looking for that fresh start and hoping that 2012 is here to offer that. In the meantime - I spend each day looking over the many things I am so grateful for and praising God, not only for the good that have come, but also those instances that we struggled through - because once you get through them, you see the blessings behind them!
Here's to an AWESOME 2012!
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