Thankful

Wow - it has been awhile since I have written on here.  The last two months have proven to be challenging and difficult to say the least, but there is still much to be thankful for.

At the beginning of October, we had a scare with Kylee - her heart started racing on her so extremely fast that it caused her to get sick all over the place. We rushed her into the ER that Friday night. Thankfully her EKG and her x-rays came back normal - but it gave us a weekend with no answers. We were not sure if she was going to be ok or if it was something serious. I have never had two whole days feel like an absolute eternity the way that weekend felt to me. We tried to keep things as normal as possible - there was no need to scare her. We went to a wedding on Saturday and a craft fair on Sunday.  We got home - and the kids were playing, when I got a phone call. My Grandmother had passed away. I rushed to pick up my sisters and head to the hospital to be with our family. She had suffered from Alzheimer's for many years, but she was by no means to the state that we thought we would lose her already. She was only there for a small amount of pain management.  The heartbreak from everything was felt throughout the room. Nonetheless, she had been suffering for so long - and there was a sense of peace knowing that she was with my Grandpa and was no longer dealing with this horrible disease.
By Monday - we were able to get Kylee into Children's while arrangements were made for my Grandma. Some good news at a much needed time - Kylee was diagnosed with SVT (Supra-Ventricular Tachycardia) which will not cause any sort of damage or health issues! Praise God - my baby girl was going to be ok.

The week went on - trying to deal with arrangements for my Grandma and finding some sort of comfort that she was reunited with my Grandpa. The funeral provided that necessary closure, but we all still hurt so incredibly much. My Grandparents were those sort of people that didn't leave just memories - but a legacy for all of us that came after them. My sisters and I were so incredibly close to them. They were such a huge part of our upbringing.
October went on and we all started to find our way again. We had a great Halloween. The kids were adorable and they had a blast trick-or-treating. (**Pictured to be added**how much cuter can you get!!!)

We moved into November - and BAM - we're hit again. Grandpa Ted has cancer. It literally came out of nowhere. He threw his last bale of hay in September - he appeared healthy - just some mild shoulder pain. By the beginning of November though, you could tell he had lost a significant amount of weight. Whatever it was - it was hitting him hard.  For a week he went in for various testing, but by the beginning of week two (from actually being diagnosed with cancer) he was already in the hospital - and by the end of that week he was in the Hospice unit. He had some horrible days where he wasn't hardly conscious and then we had one incredible day where we spent the whole day watching football. He was able to eat and drink and although he couldn't really communicate well (they believe he had a mild stroke) he knew we were all there with him and he could easily follow our conversations.  I hold on to that day with everything I have right now.

Thanksgiving got here. Grandpa was still with us. Our local hospital puts on a Turkey Trot 5k every year, so I decided to go do day-of registration. I got there a couple hours before the race, signed up and spent some time with dad and Grandpa, Grandma and Aunt Alice up in Grandpa's room. It was much more peaceful hanging out with just a few of us - usually his room is flooded with our family and we are that sort of loud, obnoxious kind of family.  I got through my run - WOW - that one hurt. I haven't ran in over a week (which has been killing me to miss my daily runs) and I felt it. I also haven't slept in over a week and I felt that too. I got through mile 1 of three - and thought to myself, "If I just close my eyes right now, I could sleep for hours on this nice hard concrete floor." I got cleaned up, picked up the kids and headed back up to Grandpa's room at the hospital for Thanksgiving lunch. We decided to make it easy and do leftover Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving. We had the turkey sandwiches, and some side dishes to go with.

By that afternoon, things had taken a bit of a turn. We knew ahead of time that it was only a matter of hours before Grandpa would pass. The signs and symptoms had been there for days, and he was struggling quite a bit more on this day. Thanksgiving was Grandpa's favorite holiday - so I guess it was only right that he attend the Thanksgiving banquet in Heaven. He passed shortly after 4:00 that afternoon. This was much more difficult than losing Grandma Jeane. Grandma had suffered from Alzheimer's for years. She wasn't the same women we grew up knowing - and it had been that way for 4 or 5 years. We knew she had been sick for a long time and we were at peace knowing she wasn't suffering anymore. With Grandpa though - it all happened so fast. There were so many people that Grandpa knew that didn't even have the chance to know he was sick. I am still fairly numb from it all. My Grandparents were like second parents for me and my sisters. And watching all of this unfold before us and having to watch our parents struggle through watching their parents pass on has been especially difficult.

There is still much to be thankful for though.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with 29 years with Grandpa Bill and just shy of 32 years with Grandma Jeane and Grandpa Ted. I am grateful that I still have Grandma Dorothy here with me. I am grateful for the fact that I can truly feel devastated at losing my Grandparents these last few years. To feel this devastated about it means that I had one of the best relationships you could ask for. I was given so many incredible memories that I can hold on to and pass on to my kids. I am grateful that God has blessed me with a family that is so close and tight. I am grateful that God has blessed me with incredible friends who have allowed me to cry on their shoulder and lean on them through these tough times. I am so very thankful for my husband who has done everything he can to keep me going. I am thankful for my church family who has lifted me and my family up in their prayers and I am grateful for the close family friends of my grandparents who have flooded our email, facebook pages, and phones with their kind words, thoughts, prayers and their sincere sadness at the loss of Grandpa. Times are tough right now, but God will help us move through this and on to better days!