DisneyWorld

Leaving sunny, 80 degree Florida weather to come back to 30 degrees and wind was a bit difficult, but we are home. DisneyWorld was by far one of the best vacations I've taken in a long time. In Kylee's words - "The best vacation EVER!!!"  It is nice to be home though. It always takes a few days to find your footing and hit the ground running, but I think we are back and ready to go. Starting 2012 off with this incredible vacation is just the beginning of what we hope to see this year.

This was really the first family vacation we have taken. Most of our travelling involves a volleyball tournament (whether one or both of us are playing or Brian was coaching). So this vacation was a real treat! The luxury of not having to make my bed in the morning and taking a break from meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking was one of the personal highlights for me (not to mention the days off from work). More than that, I loved watching my kids excitement as they met some of their favorite characters and experienced things that will give them lasting memories.

We landed on a Thursday, with only 1/2 day to spend doing something, so we decided to go visit Downtown Disney. Brian's aunt, uncle and cousin met up with us. It was great to spend some time with them. They are always so much fun to be around - and the kid's love seeing them. Downtown Disney offered up plenty of shops, food and the lego construction they had there was incredible! I couldn't believe the things people are capable of building with those little things!

The next day we visited Animal Kingdom. Triston loved it, but it sort of bored Kylee. They had a blast eating breakfast with the characters that morning, but after that Kylee wasn't terribly impressed. Brian and I loved it though - there was plenty of shade and being able to take a safari ride and see the animals without the cages, bars and glass was pretty incredible. Since this was one of our shorter days, the kids came back to the hotel and played around in the Toy Story section. They got to sit in the little race car, try to climb up Rex and jumped on the lifesize checker board.

On Saturday, we visited Hollywood Studios. Kylee had quite a bit more fun at this park. They had the Disney hip-hop dancers (which is her new thing). She loved seeing the Disney Jr. and The Little Mermaid shows. Triston loved getting to meet Phineus & Ferb, Lightning McQueen and Mater. We managed to get ourselves in the Director's Chairs for the Lights, Motor, Action show - which proved to be an awesome show. I think Brian was wishing he could be one of those stunt car drivers! Triston was in awe at watching "the real" Lightning McQueen drive around.

 

Sunday was the biggest day we had there. We started off by eating breakfast at Chef Mickeys - the kids LOVED it. The food was great and they got to meet more of their favorite characters. We spent a good majority of the morning riding the rides - Unfortunately one of the kids' favorite rides was "It's A Small World". Kylee had her appointment at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique to get all dressed up. She of course chose Jasmine, but she looked adorable. And she loved getting pampered. I'm going to have to remember that and take her in for a mani/pedi occasionally. :)  The best thing ever was she got to meet "the real" Jasmine after she got all dressed up. I think that made the entire trip for her. Since Triston was too young to get dressed up at the theme park, we brought his pirate costume to wear. I got more compliments and questions on where I got that thing! ($20 on Amazon.)  We ate dinner that night with Cinderella, Prince Charming and the evil stepmom and stepsisters and then went back to the park for the extended hours - which proved to be very beneficial. There wasn't a line to wait in at the park!

Monday was our last day there. We ate breakfast with the Winnie the Pooh characters inside Magic Kingdom and then had a couple of hours before we had to head back to the airport. We learned that our next trip out will occur during the week, and we will use the weekend to spend with family outside of the area. The crowds were non-existent today!  As sad as we were to be heading home so quickly, I think Brian and I were spent. We shoved a lot into one little vacation - but it was more than worth the exhaustion and heavy caffeine consumption. Now back to the real world and back to saving for our next vacation out there in a couple of years! Can't wait!

Welcome 2012

As we say goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012, like most people, I take a bit of time to look back and reflect. I look at 2011 and a big part of me is incredibly happy to see it go. It brought so many challenges, sadness, stress and grief my way. The loss of two Grandparents and a dear friend all within three months of each other. The health scare we had with Kylee, the incredible amount of money necessarily spent on health and dental care during the year. The large part of October, November and December spent without Brian. The hope that positive change was coming, when in reality, the only change that took place was that of adjusting to loss. 2011 looked like a pretty horrible, grim year. Truth be told - there have been plenty of moments where I just wanted to retreat into a hole and hide there, not wanting to face the reality of it all. At the same time, there were plenty of moments that I was able to look and realize how truly blessed I am.

Throughout the Christmas season, I sat in the front seat of my Jeep listening to Brad Paisley's Christmas CD (of course there were only 2 or 3 songs that we listened to, as those were the kids' favorites). The song, Born on Christmas Day was one of those - a song about Christ's birth. I have never smiled so big in my life as I did while driving to and from places listening to my 5 and 2 1/2 year old belt out word for word that song.

Although we lost two wonderful people in our family, and we are very sad about that, I realized what an incredible life I was able to have because of them. I realize how many unbelievable memories I have, not just of them - but the memories I made with them. I have a new sense of how important family is to me and how precious that time is with each of them and look forward to making many more memories with them during 2012.

Brian and I ended up going through a lot of personal stress at the same time this year; mine with the loss of grandparents and friends and his with extreme hours in the office and literally a loss of 3-4 months of time with his kids. One would think this would have driven us further a part because he was never around when I needed someone, and I didn't always have the energy to maintain the house or have things as they usually are after a long day. But, instead we grew so much closer to each other. We started working more as one instead of as two individuals. We supported each other as best as we could and pushed each other through the tough times. If there is one thing I am so grateful for from 2011 (besides my daughter's clean bill of health) it would be this moment when we came together to help each other move through a very challenging and difficult time.

Now on to 2012 - and a new hope that POSITIVE change will come our way. Our family has a lot of potential life changes coming. Everything from moving out of Greeley into either Severence or Fort Collins and looking for a good school for Kylee to start Kindergarten and Triston to start Preschool. Potential opportunity for Brian to not only find new employment, but an entirely different structure of employment and hopefully a change of employment for me after the tax season is done. We're looking for that fresh start and hoping that 2012 is here to offer that. In the meantime - I spend each day looking over the many things I am so grateful for and praising God, not only for the good that have come, but also those instances that we struggled through - because once you get through them, you see the blessings behind them!

Here's to an AWESOME 2012!

The Christmas Weekend

We are a few days after the Christmas holiday and seemed to have survived! :)  Actually, for all that 2011 has been for us, Christmas was a nice relief to just sit back and enjoy family.  It was a little weird not having Grandma Jeane or Grandpa Ted with us (and it is still weird not having Grandpa Bill after almost 4 years now), but I think everyone was able to look past the grief this year has brought and really enjoy themselves and each others company.

The kids had a blast, of course. It is offiicially that time again to go through the toy bins and see what we can give away to make room for the crazy amount of toys and games they received once again this year. Every year we really work with the kids on how we can give to others that are not as fortunate as they are. It warms my heart that this year Kylee has actually thought about what she can do before I even mentioned it to her.

I think this Christmas was by far my favorite so far. Brian and I were able to enjoy a full day on Christmas Eve with the kids, just us - they got to open their presents from us, bake cookies for Santa and we let them know about our upcoming DisneyWorld trip (which soooo didn't go as planned, but the excitement grows each day as we get closer). We later enjoyed our church service at Vintage (which is always such an incredible service) and a song service at my parents church.

Christmas day of course was as crazy as anyone else's. We started at 5:30a.m. with Santa and then by 6:00a.m. we were at my parents. Noon at my aunt & uncles and dinner at Brian's parents house. We made a full day of it for sure and enjoyed every minute. Thankfully I had Monday off to recover from it all before having to go back to work.

What A Weekend

I think I am finally getting caught back up on life and can start writing here a bit more frequently again. I just finished a huge project over this weekend (that has taken me months - thanks to a minor mishap of my zip drive breaking right as I was finishing it the first time). I completed a DVD for my family with it starting back in the late 1940's early 1950's and working its way all the way up to today. It feels incredible to be getting ready to burn all 26 copies for family members and get to pass them out this upcoming weekend at our Christmas party. (And this time it is all saved on a removable hard drive and backed up on my hard drive - No way am I starting this project over again.) :)

This was a pretty big weekend for my baby sister too - she graudated Magma Cum Laude from UNC with her degree in Performing Arts. She is hopefully going to move on to becoming a Music Teacher here at a local school somewhere soon. I am so proud of her! What a huge accomplishment to not only graduate, but with honors and in a program that she actually had to apply and audition for, in order to enter. She worked so incredibly hard. I know she'll find a great school full of very lucky kids for her to teach! Congratulations Jamie on an incredible accomplishment. I know you will do great!

"He Takes The Tractor Another Round"

This post has been a work in progress since Thanksgiving evening.  It is hard to put into words the incredible life my grandparents offered us - the memories, the lessons learned, the love shown and the examples that were set for us.

So, short of the fact that we live in Colorado, Jason Aldean's song, Amarillo Sky speaks volumes of my Grandpa Ted. So much so, that we had it as one of the song choices for the slideshow at the viewing prior to his funeral a few weeks back.  He worked so incredibly hard planting and harvesting corn and hay and raising dairy cattle, all to retire from it less than two short months prior to his death.

Grandpa Ted was one of those men who never had a bad word to say about anyone (and no one had a bad word to say about him). He loved Bud Light, fried chicken and homemade noodle & butterball soup. Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday (probably because Grandma always cooked a meal fit for a king). He loved my Grandma with all that he was and you could see that up to the very end. His family was his passion and farming was just his way of life. He was one of those men who was small in frame but could probably out-lift most men. His favorite saying was....  "Be good...... But if you can't be good, be careful." I don't think there was a single day in my life that he didn't tell me that.  My aunt told me that he probably told us girls that so often because when he was growing up he was neither.  Apparently, he was your typical hell-raising farm boy back in the day! He was a man of incredible character and always led by example. You could always see the pride and love he had for his family shining through his eyes. He was someone that I wish I could have had more time with. I had expected to have more time with him with their upcoming retirement. A hard lesson learned.... no one is guaranteed tomorrow and how quickly my Grandpa passed is proof of that.

It is crazy to think that Grandpa was as healthy as he could be and threw his last bale of hay in September but by Thanksgiving afternoon, he was singing with the angels in Heaven. Over the last couple of weeks I have gone through what October (when we lost Grandma Jeane) and November have brought our way. The challenges we have faced, the grief we have felt and the many things I have learned from it all.

I have learned how incredibly blessed I am to have been given the opportunity to not only have almost 32 years years with Grandma Jeane and Grandpa Ted (and 29 years with Grandpa Bill) but to be able to have the relationship I had with each one of them. I said it prior to losing Grandpa Ted (but while we sat in his hospice room), I feel blessed to feel so devastated at losing my Grandparents. Feeling as devastated as I have these last few months just shows me how incredibly close I was with each of them. God blessed me with a family that is so close that losing one of them is heart wrenching. I am grateful that God blessed me with my Grandma Dorothy who is still with us and healthy. I pray that her heart heals from losing Grandpa. I am so very grateful for my parents and the chance to grow up in a close relationship with them (and that my kids get to have the same amazing experience of knowing their grandparents the way I knew mine). I am blessed with two sisters who are my absolute best friends. I am blessed with a husband who has endured a lot with me and two incredible kids who make me smile from the inside out with their adorable ways.

So although 2011 has proven to be a bit rough, I am grateful for all that I have gained from it and am looking forward to a fresh start in 2012.

Thankful

Wow - it has been awhile since I have written on here.  The last two months have proven to be challenging and difficult to say the least, but there is still much to be thankful for.

At the beginning of October, we had a scare with Kylee - her heart started racing on her so extremely fast that it caused her to get sick all over the place. We rushed her into the ER that Friday night. Thankfully her EKG and her x-rays came back normal - but it gave us a weekend with no answers. We were not sure if she was going to be ok or if it was something serious. I have never had two whole days feel like an absolute eternity the way that weekend felt to me. We tried to keep things as normal as possible - there was no need to scare her. We went to a wedding on Saturday and a craft fair on Sunday.  We got home - and the kids were playing, when I got a phone call. My Grandmother had passed away. I rushed to pick up my sisters and head to the hospital to be with our family. She had suffered from Alzheimer's for many years, but she was by no means to the state that we thought we would lose her already. She was only there for a small amount of pain management.  The heartbreak from everything was felt throughout the room. Nonetheless, she had been suffering for so long - and there was a sense of peace knowing that she was with my Grandpa and was no longer dealing with this horrible disease.
By Monday - we were able to get Kylee into Children's while arrangements were made for my Grandma. Some good news at a much needed time - Kylee was diagnosed with SVT (Supra-Ventricular Tachycardia) which will not cause any sort of damage or health issues! Praise God - my baby girl was going to be ok.

The week went on - trying to deal with arrangements for my Grandma and finding some sort of comfort that she was reunited with my Grandpa. The funeral provided that necessary closure, but we all still hurt so incredibly much. My Grandparents were those sort of people that didn't leave just memories - but a legacy for all of us that came after them. My sisters and I were so incredibly close to them. They were such a huge part of our upbringing.
October went on and we all started to find our way again. We had a great Halloween. The kids were adorable and they had a blast trick-or-treating. (**Pictured to be added**how much cuter can you get!!!)

We moved into November - and BAM - we're hit again. Grandpa Ted has cancer. It literally came out of nowhere. He threw his last bale of hay in September - he appeared healthy - just some mild shoulder pain. By the beginning of November though, you could tell he had lost a significant amount of weight. Whatever it was - it was hitting him hard.  For a week he went in for various testing, but by the beginning of week two (from actually being diagnosed with cancer) he was already in the hospital - and by the end of that week he was in the Hospice unit. He had some horrible days where he wasn't hardly conscious and then we had one incredible day where we spent the whole day watching football. He was able to eat and drink and although he couldn't really communicate well (they believe he had a mild stroke) he knew we were all there with him and he could easily follow our conversations.  I hold on to that day with everything I have right now.

Thanksgiving got here. Grandpa was still with us. Our local hospital puts on a Turkey Trot 5k every year, so I decided to go do day-of registration. I got there a couple hours before the race, signed up and spent some time with dad and Grandpa, Grandma and Aunt Alice up in Grandpa's room. It was much more peaceful hanging out with just a few of us - usually his room is flooded with our family and we are that sort of loud, obnoxious kind of family.  I got through my run - WOW - that one hurt. I haven't ran in over a week (which has been killing me to miss my daily runs) and I felt it. I also haven't slept in over a week and I felt that too. I got through mile 1 of three - and thought to myself, "If I just close my eyes right now, I could sleep for hours on this nice hard concrete floor." I got cleaned up, picked up the kids and headed back up to Grandpa's room at the hospital for Thanksgiving lunch. We decided to make it easy and do leftover Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving. We had the turkey sandwiches, and some side dishes to go with.

By that afternoon, things had taken a bit of a turn. We knew ahead of time that it was only a matter of hours before Grandpa would pass. The signs and symptoms had been there for days, and he was struggling quite a bit more on this day. Thanksgiving was Grandpa's favorite holiday - so I guess it was only right that he attend the Thanksgiving banquet in Heaven. He passed shortly after 4:00 that afternoon. This was much more difficult than losing Grandma Jeane. Grandma had suffered from Alzheimer's for years. She wasn't the same women we grew up knowing - and it had been that way for 4 or 5 years. We knew she had been sick for a long time and we were at peace knowing she wasn't suffering anymore. With Grandpa though - it all happened so fast. There were so many people that Grandpa knew that didn't even have the chance to know he was sick. I am still fairly numb from it all. My Grandparents were like second parents for me and my sisters. And watching all of this unfold before us and having to watch our parents struggle through watching their parents pass on has been especially difficult.

There is still much to be thankful for though.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with 29 years with Grandpa Bill and just shy of 32 years with Grandma Jeane and Grandpa Ted. I am grateful that I still have Grandma Dorothy here with me. I am grateful for the fact that I can truly feel devastated at losing my Grandparents these last few years. To feel this devastated about it means that I had one of the best relationships you could ask for. I was given so many incredible memories that I can hold on to and pass on to my kids. I am grateful that God has blessed me with a family that is so close and tight. I am grateful that God has blessed me with incredible friends who have allowed me to cry on their shoulder and lean on them through these tough times. I am so very thankful for my husband who has done everything he can to keep me going. I am thankful for my church family who has lifted me and my family up in their prayers and I am grateful for the close family friends of my grandparents who have flooded our email, facebook pages, and phones with their kind words, thoughts, prayers and their sincere sadness at the loss of Grandpa. Times are tough right now, but God will help us move through this and on to better days!

How Life Changes

Well, the last 10 days or so have been unbelievably eventful, emotional and exhausting. We are just now getting back to normal again.

Everything happened over one weekend. It started out Friday late afternoon with a phone call from my mom saying that I needed to come get Kylee and take her in to the doctor. Her heart started racing on her causing her to get sick all over the place. We rushed her into Urgent Care just to be sent to the Emergency Room. After the EKG and X-Rays came back normal, they sent us home telling us it is some kind of Tachycardia, and we need to go see a pediatric cardiologist at Children's.  Not knowing the severity of what was going on drove me crazy all weekend. A million questions ran through my head and I had no idea how to answer them. It took all of my energy to maintain a calm demeanor so that I didn't cause any panic with Kylee. I just wanted Kylee to be able to be herself - to be my normal baby girl who runs around in circles and dances and sings. I didn't want her worrying about her heart or her health in anyway. Just seeing how sad she looked when the ER doctor told her she couldn't play soccer until the Cardiologist cleared her, broke my heart. That sad look was etched in my brain the entire weekend. I don't think I slept at all that night - I couldn't help but get up and check on her constantly.

I was so thankful for horrible weather on Saturday - it meant they would cancel the soccer game and reschedule it - so she didn't have to miss anything. Instead, we did a little shopping that morning. We had a wedding to go to for good friends of ours. The kids stayed with my parents - which made me nervous not to have Kylee with me, but I knew my parents could handle whatever would come of that night (thankfully nothing occurred). It was a beautiful ceremony in a beautiful church for two amazing people! Brian was in the wedding, so that meant I spent the evening alone so he could tend to his groomsman duties. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but I was exhausted, scared and a little broken up from the previous night. I had dealt with everything by myself the night before, because he was in Denver at rehearsal. I didn't want to be alone all night on Saturday too. Thankfully there was a large group of wonderful friends to sit with, so that helped, but I couldn't help but think of Kylee the whole night - wondering if she was ok. I am sure I annoyed my mom to no end, as I text her constantly checking in to see how things were going. We got home late to two sleeping babies, but unfortunately I again spent the night half awake, half asleep. Partly because I felt the need to keep checking on Kylee, partly because I ended up getting sick. Oy!

Sunday rolled around. I stumbled through the day not feeling well but good enough to get myself and the kids to church. Kylee sang that morning for preschool - so we were at my parents church in Greeley. I was very thankful not to have to drive to Fort Collins. My mom called me that morning and asked me to film Kylee. She said that Grandma was in quite a bit of pain still from a fall she had taken a week before and Hospice (who has overseen her care for the last 4 months or so) was moving her to their wing of the hospital to better provide pain management to her for a couple of days. I wanted to go to the hospital to see her, but knew that I wasn't feeling well and figured it better that I not jeopardize getting her sick. Instead, we waited for Brian to get home and went to the craft fair at Island Grove. There was nothing much to see there, but Kylee of course wanted to do something crafty - so we went to Michael's to get the kids each a little something - Kylee got a jewelry box to paint and bedazzle up while Triston found some cars. We weren't home for more than 15 minutes when my sister calls me and tells me to have my phone at my side that Grandma wasn't doing well. Not 5 minutes from hanging up on her, I get the call from my dad that she had passed away. An overwhelming rush of sadness hit me. This is a woman who helped raise me and my sisters. Who helped create the girls we are today. She was very sick with Alzheimer's, yes..... but she wasn't suppose to go just yet - she was suppose to be with us for a few more months. I wasn't prepared to lose her yet. I was suppose to go see her at least one last time before this happened! All I could think of is I had to go pick up my sisters and get up there - as if being there would somehow change the outcome. My sisters and I (all of whom were sick with the same stupid stomach bug) sat in a corner of her hospice room with my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins and just cried in disbelief and absolute sadness. None of us were ready to part with her.

The rest of the week was an absolute blur. Monday - we got Kylee into Children's and THANKFULLY found out that what she has is SVT (supra-ventricular tachycardia) which is not harmful. There are options for the future that would get rid of it if she chooses to. But, all that matters at this immediate moment is that she is healthy and can stay the same little girl that she is. Nothing about her habits has to change.

I spent Monday & Tuesday helping where I could with arrangements and just spending time with my kids. Thursday was the viewing and Friday was the funeral. By Friday I was so broken, exhausted and just overwhelmed. I finally broke down. I needed to - I had nothing left inside me at that moment.

We spent the weekend trying to get the kids and ourselves back to normal and now that we are half-way through the week, I think we are finally getting there. It is incredible how one weekend can change your entire life so dramatically - I'm thankful for so many things though. For my daughter's health, for almost 32 years of life with my grandma (and 29 years with my grandpa) and to have two grandparents still alive and doing well. I'm thankful for my kids and my husband - my sisters and my parents and the rest of my family and for all the good friends who were there during that weekend for me to lean on. You truly get a good understanding of those that are there for you during times like this, when you need them the most! Thankful is not a strong enough word for how I feel about each of them.